Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
