They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
