Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
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Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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