my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
