HIV tests are more positive than that guy
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
