Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
