he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
