I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize