She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
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It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize