I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
