Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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