Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
