My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Did you just see the Batmobile???
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
