Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
