NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
