Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
