but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
