cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Everyone says I win the strip club
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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