i will soon be in a relationship on fb
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.