just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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