Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
