Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
