I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
