Taylor Swift is so right about you.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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