you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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