i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
