Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
