So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize