i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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