i just google imaged poop.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
