I feel like I'm in dance class right now
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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