yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
