So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
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i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
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so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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