And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
