So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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