Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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