She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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