I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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