I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Sext me about skeletons
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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