I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
