i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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