yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
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I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
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Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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