i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
