My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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