I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
