You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
