I got chris browned last night
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize