I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I touched a dick in church today
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
