I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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