Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
