I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
