Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
whose parrot is this?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
