I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
