don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
