hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
