everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
