just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
