Sry I called you an 8
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
