'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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