Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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